The Feeling of Being “Stuck with No Way Out” is Treacherous
I felt every sign of hazardous events revealing themselves right in front of my eyes each time this crippling feeling of being “stuck” with no other possible options to make a change, entered my entire being. Threatened by self-imposed and limiting beliefs that "I was not good enough", “Someone else is a lot better than me", or "I couldn’t afford to make a bold move that will instigate the change and will rid of this paralyzing fear", left me agonized and haunted for days or even months. That was until I chose to change my attitude towards myself. My saving grace, and it worked each time, was looking inward and seeking the answers on how I viewed myself.
People, whom I respected, continuously reminded me of my good qualities. I did not lack supporters. I did not lack critics either. Paradoxically, in oppose to concentrating on the positive re-enforcement, which would have helped me to avoid feeling stuck, I dwelled on, what I believed or was told, my deficiencies.
It is a heck of a lot easier to feel like a victim, join the "negative band", and drown in your sorrows. It is easier for just a moment not to change. It is not healthy or wise in the long run. Stress can put a stop to your feeling of being “stuck”. It can kill too. But, if you make a choice to use stress as a motivator, it will prompt you to pay attention to yourself. Thankfully, it drove me to become unstuck.
Somewhere in the midst of the treacherous circumstances, we might think, "Life is not fair!" And in the past, my either spoken or silent responses would be, "Well, get used to it!" or "You are right, get over it!" I am not convinced any more that life has to be unfair, and that one has to resign to this belief. There is a need to change this attitude towards your own thinking and beliefs, by instigating personal change, and altering your personal views on what well-being means to you. In turn, this attitude leads towards understanding a deeper purpose and a mindset that is not controlled by circumstances, other people's thoughts, and egos.
"You cannot be fair to others without first being fair to yourself." – Vera Nazarian
It takes several iterations of life’s circumstances to realize and believe that YOU are good enough, and the process of personal re-invention is nothing less than miraculous. Once I started believing that I am more than my own made up stories, filled with limitations of my personal abilities, I was opened to start looking at fairness as the skill that I needed to improve.
Five steps I take towards my personal well-being, which in turn, generates deeper self-awareness and a feeling of contentment and fairness:
1. I have an established morning routine. I make a choice to respect, love and appreciate myself. I look forward to waking up every day.
One of these choices is allowing myself a quiet time. I meditate.
If you don’t meditate, a prayer or sitting quietly listening to a relaxing melody for just 5-10 minutes without planning your day, can help with starting a day where you know that YOU are important and fair to yourself. You allow yourself to just BE.
2. I read, research, and study every day.
I am a learner. I replenish my bucket of knowledge every day. I read like this is the last day in this life. Thirst for knowledge helps me expand and improve my views I had yesterday. I feel refreshed, current, and fulfilled.
3. I express gratitude daily. I am grateful for every moment I get to experience in this life. I have someone or something to be grateful for, as the benefits of being grateful are endless.
- Try and experience gratefulness every day. Research by UC Davis psychologist Robert Emmons, author of Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, shows that simply keeping a gratitude journal—regularly writing brief reflections on moments for which we’re thankful—can significantly increase well-being and life satisfaction.
4. I make a choice not to be a victim of my own or people’s limiting beliefs.
5. I work relentlessly every day towards my goals.
I am opened to change when the opportunities are aligned with my values. I take charge for what exists "NOW" and create action plans to adjust as I move along.
Get unstuck, change your thoughts, and be fair to yourself.
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