© 2019 XCaliber Coaching & Consulting LLC

P.O. Box 5173 Suffolk, Virginia 23435 United States

 

“Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.” - Thomas Carlyle

 

Many people, including seasoned leaders, experience moments when they feel decline in self-confidence. 

 

 


There are moments when my self-confidence drops to the lowest levels, and it feels dreadful, so I ask myself: “What price am I willing to pay to grow my self-confidence?” Since I don't experience the chronic lack of it, especially when helping others with improving their personal situations, I identify the culprits within me that keep me going back to the state of unnecessary concerns. Ultimately, the first step I take is try to understand the underlying causes and situations that made me think and act hesitantly and with the overpowering sense of self-doubt, that easily led to anxiety and paralysis.

 

One common theme that surfaced during this discovery process, was me being afraid to be judged by people whom I know. Irrational and illogical fear that will only confirm and support the thoughts and opinions of a very few in my circle. Reality of knowing that this potential judgement, questioning and doubts by others had nothing to do with my own capabilities and the volume of help I could offer to those who truly needed my services.

 

I decided to further assess some valuable feedback that I received from those whom I helped in order to define the moments when I felt confident. Every sign based on the feedback indicated that yes, indeed, the work I did with the clients was inspiring them to get over their fears, to find better coping strategies in life and business. Nevertheless, it took one or two critiques, no matter how insignificant the comments, to knock me down a few notches. Using all of my strengths and knowledge, I bounced back fairly quickly, but the fact remained that even the smallest instances, led to delays in growing my business.

 

After speaking to a few colleagues, who are entrepreneurs themselves, I have learned that they are encountering similar situations periodically, which at times leads them to the moments of doubting self-worth and the business direction they have chosen. You catch someone at a bad time in their life or career after knowing them at their best, and you know this is just an impulse and the reaction to a temporary setback.

The reality here is simple; not one individual, including your friend, co

-worker, boss, customer, family member, etc., can define who you are, what you are capable of, and why you chose to run your business in the first place. Setbacks happen, but they happen for a reason. This reason is to adjust the direction you are taking without losing your passion. Without these moments when we temporarily lose confidence, we wouldn’t see the new ways to create, to inspire and to influence. It is best to look at our biggest doubters as the fuel to continue building our unlimited potential. Regardless of how relentless your critics are in their pursuit to prove that you won’t succeed, don’t lose your confidence. Instead, concentrate on your achievements and see the big picture.

 

 

Here are just a few tips that might be helpful for you to try:

 

  1. Determine and list your biggest achievements to date.

  2. Pick a successful situation similar to what you are dealing with right now and ask: “What actions did I take, and what behaviors did I demonstrate that helped me succeed?” Concentrate on what worked. No reason to go down the rabbit hole or dwell on what didn’t work.

  3. Once you determine these success inducing actions, think how you can apply them to your current situation. Concentrate on your strengths and contemplate: “What experience and strengths do I bring to this situation?” 

  4. Determine the next steps. The process of identification of your strengths is important and leads to building your plan of action with less fear.

  5. Measure progress along the way. Not only measuring progress is a great tool to see if you are moving in the right direction and adjusting along the way, it is also a great way to build confidence by celebrating your achievements.

 

Look at the big picture. What is the best that can happen if you let go of self-doubts and grew your confidence?

 

When you need help with building your confidence, contact us at alex@xcalibercoaching.com or +1 757 292 7271. For more information on our products and services, please visit http://www.xcalibercoaching.com/. We look forward to working with you and building a better world of leadership!

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